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literature
Do You Exist?
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Literature Text
If a tree falls in the woods
and no one is around to hear it
does it make a sound?
If you're there
and no one is thinking of you
do you still exist?
Think about that while I sit
here and negate your existence.
and no one is around to hear it
does it make a sound?
If you're there
and no one is thinking of you
do you still exist?
Think about that while I sit
here and negate your existence.
</3
I feel as though this has a too thrown together feel to it.
1. I feel like it's too short.
2. I want to think of a way to reword the second stanza. Because the first stanza, "If a tree falls in the woods..." has more syllables than the second stanza, "If you're there..." Can anyone think of a way for me to rephrase the second stanza to give it better flow?
3. It came to me and I wrote it down in five minutes. So I feel like I have to edit and revise and redo it fifty times so that I can say it is a nice piece of writing and mean it.
Despite everything.. I like the idea behind it and think it may have potential.
Do you guys agree or disagree with my qualms or have any critiques/ideas/comments or your own?
I feel as though this has a too thrown together feel to it.
1. I feel like it's too short.
2. I want to think of a way to reword the second stanza. Because the first stanza, "If a tree falls in the woods..." has more syllables than the second stanza, "If you're there..." Can anyone think of a way for me to rephrase the second stanza to give it better flow?
3. It came to me and I wrote it down in five minutes. So I feel like I have to edit and revise and redo it fifty times so that I can say it is a nice piece of writing and mean it.
Despite everything.. I like the idea behind it and think it may have potential.
Do you guys agree or disagree with my qualms or have any critiques/ideas/comments or your own?
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Comments17
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hahaha xD